


A Hidden Love

by Krose_16



Category: jalex - Fandom
Genre: Crying, Death, Heartache, I'm Sorry, Jalex - Freeform, M/M, Sadness, The feels are real, alex doesn't notice, jack has feelings for alex, prepare for sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:51:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krose_16/pseuds/Krose_16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack is in love with Alex, his band mate. Alex doesn't notice and has a girlfriend. Jack falls into a depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hidden Love

Jack didn't know how to explain the things he felt every time he saw the older brunette. He couldn't say why his heart would beat ten times faster, or why his stomach would fill with butterflies. He couldn't understand why his mind suddenly went blank and his hands started to sweat. He couldn't explain any of that. He wasn't sure he even wanted to explain all the weird things that were happening with his body when he was around the other boy.

He couldn't stop the small shivers that would course through his body every time Alex would touch him. A simple hand on the shoulder could make Jack's mind turn to goo. A simple whisper in his ear sent butterflies swarming in his stomach. Anything Alex did had an effect on Jack.

Jack had been having these weird feelings for his band mate for weeks. He wasn't sure exactly when the feelings had started to form in Jack, but they had none the less. He didn't see the feelings going away, instead he saw them growing. Growing into something more than a stupid high school crush. 

He couldn't get Alex's beautiful chocolate brown eyes out of his head. He couldn't stop thinking about the way the light caught his caramel hair, making it look even shinier than usually. He constantly caught himself thinking about running his fingers through the soft locks as he stared into the eyes that held so much but revealed so little. Jack simply couldn't get Alex off his mind, no matter what Jack did. Alex was all he thought about.

He had started listening to songs that reminded him of Alex. He would watch romantic movies and imagine that it was him and Alex in the movies, living the perfect life. He would strum his guitar strings and softly speak his thoughts of Alex, making them into songs. He would go to sleep and have dreams of the lead singer. He would daydream about the two of them having the perfect relationship, whispering sweet nothings to each other as they were wrapped in each other’s arms.

Jack had to admit that the feelings were starting to get to him. He couldn't walk past Alex without wanting to push him against the nearest wall and attack his soft lips. His lips. That was another thing that Jack couldn't stop thinking about. His body would shiver every time Alex would chew on his bottom lip, or when he would poke the tip of his tongue out of his mouth to run over his bottom lip; leaving it glistening with spit. 

Jack could hardly even concentrate on the concerts. He would let his eyes wonder over to Alex, who stood front and center, and watch him sway his hips slightly to the beat. He would be so caught up in watching Alex that he would forget to move his fingers. Zack would send him a look and Jack would blush and go back to moving his fingers over the strings. 

Many times before, Jack had found himself close to kissing Alex. There would be the times where they would do their banter on the stage, for their fans, and Alex would be so close to Jack. His scent would invade Jack's nostrils, his lips slightly brushing his cheek, and Jack would start to turn his head so his lips would press against Alex's. But, like before, he would stop himself before he actually did that. Alex was straight, his best friend, and not to mention, he had a girlfriend.

And speaking of Alex's girlfriend, there she was walking into the venue, Alex by her side. It made Jack's insides burn with jealousy as he saw the bright smiles on both their faces. 

Jack despised the woman that currently hung onto Alex's arm. It's not that she was a nasty person; she was actually really sweet, but because she had Alex. She was the one that got sleep with him, kiss him, cuddle him, and be all cute with him and Jack hated it.

Jack wanted to do all those things with Alex, be able to call him his boyfriend but he knew he would never be allowed to do that. It broke Jack's heart every day, piece by piece a part of his heart would shatter and leave him feeling empty.

Many nights, Jack had gone to Zack crying about his love for his best friend. He would cry into his friend’s shoulder until his eyes ran dry. He hated the fact that this love was tearing him apart. It was hurting him emotionally and physically. He couldn't sleep without having dreams about Alex, and those dreams would only make his heart hurt even more. 

As Jack sat on the couch in the back, his thoughts racing, he felt hatred for his best friend. His eyes trained on the couple that walked through the venue doors and his insides burned with jealously and hatred. Jack had never felt such hate towards two people in his life before and he never thought the hate would be towards his band mate. 

Alex and Lisa were supporting bright smiles as their limbs were wrapped around each other. Jack wanted to gag at the sight. He wanted to jump from the couch and rip Lisa away from Alex, yell at her, and then kiss the fuck out of Alex. 

Jack's murder plan for Lisa was interrupted when Alex's voice sounded throughout the room. It pierced through Jack's thoughts and made all the hate turn into love.

"Hey, Jack." He turned his gaze to Alex's face, seeing the smile on his face. He returned the smile and jumped up from the couch, going to hug Alex. He got halfway to Alex when Lisa decided to eat his face. She wrapped her arms around Alex's neck and kissed him full on the mouth.

Jack stopped in his tracks, his smile falling and his heart completely shattering. He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes as he watched Alex's arms pull her closer to him, a smile on his face as they kissed. 

It carried on like that for weeks. Alex would say one word to Jack, Jack would go to hug him, and Lisa and him would make out. It was honestly tearing Jack apart. His heart had long been broken and he couldn't repair it.

Jack was living a lie every day. His smile had become forced, he hardly laughed or cracked jokes, he stayed away from the others. He only saw his friends when they had a show to play. Even at shows, he wasn't himself. He didn't jump around the stage or yell out something perverted. He stayed in one spot for the whole show and played his guitar.

The fans had noticed and started posting things on Twitter, which caused his friends to worry more about him. Alex had tried to get through to his best friend but Jack pushed him away the most. He would sometimes talk to Zack and Rian, but never muttered a word to Alex. 

Alex was getting frustrated with his friend’s behavior. He wanted to his old best friend back, not the depressed mess that was now his friend. He hated it. He hated the fact that his friend was pushing the others away but letting the other two in, somewhat. 

He had tried several times to talk to his friend but never got an answer from him. He had talked to Lisa about it a few times but she only told him to kick Jack out of the band. Alex couldn't understand why Lisa would say such a thing about Jack but then he started to think about it more. 

Jack wasn't playing the shows right, he was causing them to lose more fans with his depression, he didn't talk to the others anymore. But he couldn't just kick his best friend out of a band that he helped but together. They had been best friends for years, he couldn't just do that. Could he?

The final straw for Jack was when he had overheard the conversation between his band mates. He was standing on the other side of the closed door, ready to walk out, when he heard the muffled voices.

"He's bringing us down."

"He messes up during the shows."

"Jack could be the downfall of All Time Low."

"He's ruining himself."

"We need to let him go."

The tears were already falling down his face as he listened to the rest of the conversation. He knew that he was messed up but he never thought his 'friends' would get rid of him. He always thought that they would be there for him, like he was for them.

He numbly made his way to the small bathroom and stared at the image in the mirror. It showed a broken boy. Nothing but an empty shell. It showed a person that used to be so happy and lively before he fell in love with his best friend and started hating himself. 

He needed to give his friends a better future, a future that didn't involve him. And that's what Jack did. He grabbed a razor and dug it into his wrists, over and over. He never stopped until the razor fell from his hand and he landed on the floor, all life leaving him. 

The next morning, Zack was the one to find him and the note he left. 'I'm sorry' was written on the mirror with the black sharpie that Jack carried in his pocket. Zack had let out a scream and cried as the other two stared in horror.

Their best friend was laying on the floor of their tour bus bathroom, his eyes closed and blood surrounding him. They all cried and hated themselves, knowing they didn't do their best to help him.

Jack wasn't just depressed about his love for Alex, no. He started pointing out the flaws he saw in himself, thought about why people didn't like him, read the hate comments, and hated himself. He had developed depression and nobody had tried to help him. 

He was Jack Barakat, the once happy guitar player for All Time Low.


End file.
